The Moment I Realized the Impact Being an Empath Was Having on My Marriage, My Marriage Began to Transform

 I had been to therapy for years and had been told I was an empath, but I didn't realize what that really meant. 

It means more than you are absorbing other people's emotions, illnesses, and energy. 

It's not just an inconvenience. 

It completely destroys your life. Having this energetic exchange happen regularly in your relationships distorts your relationships. 

There is no other way around it. 

Here is how it played out in my marriage and began to make my marriage suffer. 

I remember this day vividly still. My husband and I have amazing conversations together and enjoy spending time together so we had this beautiful habit of going on trails together. 

One Saturday, we were walking a trail and I was filled with so many positive emotions.

I had been working on my trauma and was beginning to feel safe and happy when all of a sudden he reached for my hand. The second he touched my hand, a dark cloud loomed over me and I felt depressed. 

Grief and extreme pain overwhelmed me. 

The reality is that this had been happening for a long time in my life, but the stark contrast of that day is what made me realize this was occurring. Prior to that it would have been hard for me to notice because I was already depressed so if I were to feel even more depressed it just meant I was having a bad day. 

This isn't where it stopped though. I began to notice that I was waking up fatigued in the mornings. I had no energy within me. That was because I was giving my life force energy to my husband while we slept at night in bed together. 

I didn't know what to do anymore. I literally couldn't be around my husband without feeling discomfort in my own body and of course that spilled out into how we interacted with each other.

I had absorbed so much of other people's anger and other emotions that I began to genuinely feel hatred inside. I hated people and I hated my husband. 

All of this anger welled up inside of me and I would vomit verbal diarrhea on my husband daily. 

Our joyous walks turned into fighting matches. 

And he just wanted his wife back. He had no idea what was going on with me. 

Once I realized what was going on, I began to do the work that needed to be done to undo all of this and it isn't easy. 

There are no tricks to stopping this cycle. The only way to get out of it was to go through the subconscious beliefs I had that were causing me to absorb other people's energy. 

There are a few core beliefs that allow this to happen. Here they are:

1) I don't deserve love. 

2) I am not worthy of goodness. 

These beliefs energetically send out the message to the world that everyone else is more important than you are so they are able to steal your energy and due to your beliefs you also willingly subconsciously self sacrifice all the time absorbing other people's ailments, maladies, and negative emotions in exchange for your healthy energy. 

The underlying reason for this is the belief that if you do this you will finally be able to receive love. You will finally be loved. 

But unfortunately that never happens. 

So instead what happened is that I became increasingly emotionally unstable and easily triggered and as time progressed incredibly ill. 

And I felt like a complete failure at life because my relationships were a disaster, but I also couldn't function very well in life anymore due to this lack of energy. 

I was a mess and it hurt to be stuck in this mess. 

I felt that God was very unfair. I felt that God wasn't supporting me or helping me. 

It was an incredibly dark time in my life that I wouldn't wish upon anyone and I was helpless to change it only because I didn't realize how my energy was contributing to my problems. 

This post is part of a series on Getting Out Of the Fight Make Up Fight Cycle in your marriage. There were many components that were creating this issue. It is a very complex issue. Please click on the links below, if you would like to read the rest of the series. 

​This blog post is part of a series. Here is the rest of the series:

• We Were Fighting Daily. I Was Married And Yet Never Felt So Lonely: This Is What I Did To Change That​​
• Every time I Would Bring Up an Issue He Would Get Defensive Leading to Arguments: Here Is What Stopped That
• ​Shame is Ruining Your Marriage: Here is How to Stop It
• ​Should I Stay or Should I Go?

If these posts sound like the problem you are currently experiencing in your marriage, I can help. I have helped myself and dozens of women get out of this cycle and I can help you too.  If you're ready to receive help please click the button below to schedule a FREE consultation. In this consultation, I will assess whether I am the right person to help you with your current problem. 

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