We Were Fighting Daily. I Was Married And Yet Never Felt So Lonely: This Is What I Did To Change That

​Before I got married I thought I was set. I had a psychology degree under my belt, had read lots of books on relationships, and my partner and I had gone to counseling together to make sure we had discussed important topics and learned how to communicate more effectively together.  Does this sound familiar?

That was 14 years ago. I wasn't prepared at all for the reality of what was about to happen. 

Despite all of our efforts, after seven years together, we were having the worse fights we have ever had. I began to question whether it was time to divorce. 

And yet something within me new this was fixable and that there was something more to it than us, an unknown X factor. Something was playing games with us. 

If I was honest with myself, I was angry and resentful about things that didn't truly matter and that were completely fixable. 

Once I began to really reflect on it, it didn't make sense. I loved my partner and it shouldn't be this hard. 

I would use the psychology tools I had learned, but we would still argue daily. 

Eventually, it had been going on so long that I felt completely disconnected from my partner. I didn't feel inclined to hug him or show much affection anymore. 

It was nothing big that happened. It reminds me of all of the celebrities. They are always divorcing for irreconcilable differences.  

Because that's what it is. It's the small things that eat away in a marriage. 

One day, I had had enough and I was able to perceive that it wasn't me causing the inner drama, but quite a few ancestors. 

The drama would unfold, but they were not being driven by my own thoughts. My perception of everything my husband said was being altered by the ancestral energy that had been passed down to me. That energy was what was creating the constant friction. 

Everything is energy. Nothing ceases to exist. It is only transformed. Due to this, when ancestors have unprocessed trauma and emotions it stays in their body and it is passed down to their descendants until someone does something about it. 

When I began to do the ancestral healing work, everything began to change. All of a sudden, I was beginning to see my husband as my teammate again rather than my enemy. 

My husband still loved me and wanted to support me, but I hadn't given him the opportunity to. 

All of the fighting had created a huge wedge within us that drove us farther apart.

How do you connect with someone that continues to argue with you?

But when I released those energies that were stirring up the frustration and anger within me, I began to soften. 

I began to be approachable again. 

Of course, it isn't only me who had these issues. After I had begun my work, I helped my husband release some of this clutter too. 

That magnified the work. As we both released these energies from our systems, we began to feel more connected to each other. It brought a profound sense of peace and harmony to our relationship. 

This is one of the energetic components in a relationship that is often overlooked by many methodologies and it is the one that has created the biggest impact in my marriage and in the marriages of my clients. 

I know of no other work that is as vital and that makes as big an impact because we all have energies that have been passed down to us that are not helping us. 

If you honestly look at your own parents and grandparents and how they handled their relationships, it becomes very clear that you are recreating their patterns. It may be showing up slightly differently due to having more resources available to you, but underneath it all, it is those patterns creating the disharmony.

If this has peaked your interest and you would like to learn more you can book a FREE consultation call with me where we can discuss your specific problems further and assess how I can help you. 

I Am Ready

This post is part of a series. Here is the rest of the series:

• Every time I Would Bring Up an Issue He Would Get Defensive Leading to Arguments: Here Is What Stopped That
• Shame is Ruining Your Marriage: Here is How to Stop It​
  
• ​The Moment I Realized the Impact Being an Empath Was Having on My Marriage, My Marriage Began to Transform
• ​Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Disclaimer: A Joyful Life Lived, LLC is providing this training and any related materials (blog posts, newsletters, and other communications) for educational purposes only. This is not a replacement for medical treatment. I am not a doctor or a therapist. I am sharing what I have learned along my own journey. If you are struggling with any mental, emotional, or physical illness please seek the counsel of your primary care provider.