Love Programming: And How it Destroys Homes

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite

Love is life giving. We don't fully know that because many of us didn't receive love growing up. We learned that love was being understanding. 

As a child you had to be understanding of the ways your parents treated you. You learned love was disappointing. You learned that because you are family and love one another you need to accept bad behavior. You were conditioned to believe that no one outside the family would ever care more about you. 

So they mistreat you. They speak poorly about you and to you. You think it's all normal family stuff especially because usually people living in similar frequencies live around one another and come across one another. 

I had a lot of friends and every single one of them had issues with their parents. They were different from the issues that I faced, but they still had them. They knew secrets like their mother cheated on their father. 

Their parents were very strict and wouldn't let them hang out with friends outside of school. Their parents were negligent and didn't care if they didn't go to school. Their father was very strict and cruel. 

I saw all sorts of issues so it was all normal. And they tell the story that this is all mainly normal in lower socioeconomic classes, but the truth is I had a lot of friends that lived in really good areas. 

As an adult, I had a bestie whose father was a surgeon. She told me it was a surprise for her to find out that poor men cheated on their wives because in her world it was believed you had to have money to provide for a second woman. 

These issues are everywhere and they are normalized. You hear about them in the streets, at work, and they are completely normalized through television and music. 

So is it no wonder that people question what love is? Is it no wonder that they are in a confused state while dating and don't have a clue as to what they really need from someone?

I have childhood friends that married younger than I did. One of them early on in their relationship called the police because he had hit her in self-defense. She was honest to the police that she was the one that attacked him so the police said, "Okay. You can't do that and then call the police. Figure this out."  

She was 19 at the time and I remember everyone around, even adults, talking about how crazy she was. Those stories are told as, "That's so and so. They're like that." It's all so normalized. No one looked at that and said, "It makes sense she needs to do a lot of healing work because her mother married an abusive man twice. She never had a real father figure. Her father didn't speak to her in love and there was always tension in the home. Why wouldn't those patterns live in her? Why wouldn't she repeat them?"

You can see these energies working within individuals, within couples, and within a home. You can see disharmonious energy in a home. That does not feel like a safe environment. 

Her mother conceptualized what happened throughout her childhood. Her mother was open and frank about having married an abusive man. Her mother could talk circles cognitively about all of it, but there was no inner change which allowed this to stay in the family. 

I don't believe her husband was abusive. I didn't see that in his energy, but the turbulent energies living within her allowed something like that to unfold. We all become actors in other people's stories. Energy can be very manipulative. If you've ever spent time alone you can feel how you feel when you're alone and when you're under the influence of other people's energies. And unfortunately, the way it works is that it is easier for people to be brought down into a lower vibration than it is to be brought up to a higher state of vibration. 

So people stay together because they've been taught that's what love is. You've said your vows right, "Stay together through the good times and the BAD times." They think, these are the bad times. But bad times are things outside of your control like becoming unemployed and having to figure out finances together or receiving a really bad health diagnosis and working through that together.

As an adult, I met a couple that had been together for over twenty years. They had three beautiful teenagers together. The husband was in a constant state of depression and abused alcohol. I saw her say to him, "You really need to figure this out. I want you to be healthy." She said it in the most loving way, but the truth is he had been an alcoholic for a long time. It was clear they were experiencing chaos due to his state of being, but she was the faithful wife that stayed by her husband. It is common programming that a faithful wife has to stay by her husband despite these very unhealthy behaviors. 

These "bad times" are normalized in relationships even though they're not "bad times" they are an every day occurrence that continuously cut your energy and keep creating new wounds. Nothing good comes from this. You only become more and more destabilized and more and more confused. 

Real love is safety, nurture, security, and trust. The energy is harmonious. There is no need to yell at one another or call each other names. It's this stable, constant, harmonious energy. 

Most of us haven't been taught that or how to work within that space. No one taught me either, I am just intuitive so I felt it. I had an inner voice constantly guiding me. One of the things that I constantly heard in the back of my head was, "Don't take away love." And I learned when I heard that to check my heart and to work through the energy of love. 

And it really works. When I was a new mom, I had those challenging overstimulating moments where the baby is crying and life feels chaotic. Instead of forcing myself to keep at it in that state of being, I would recognize the tension within my body and I would choose to work from the space of love. I would instantly feel a heart shift and all that stress would melt away. That is the power of love. 

And when you have that connection with other human beings, their love has the power to decrease your tension and stress levels. It has the power to calm down your nervous system. 

But this isn't the way love is spoken about. It's spoken about as self sacrifice. Women in particular are made to feel that if they love someone they have to give up parts of themselves. They don't consciously do that. It's small things like their partner wants to do a very specific job in a very specific area so she makes the decision to let go of her job to make his dreams happen. It's small things like that that eventually leave behind a woman that doesn't recognize herself and has lost parts of herself to "love." And you can continue to delude yourself and believe, "that's just what love is" but the reality is if someone loves you they could never watch you give up parts of yourself. 

When we are connected to our hearts, we can feel how others around us are feeling. We can feel when we are both connected and feeling good and we can feel when something has brought them down. If you register that you did something that's brought them down, you immediately want to correct that. That's love. 

But it only happens through being connected with our hearts. It's through being connected with our heart that we can form life giving relationships. 

I am intuitive and I help people solve their spiritual problems by assessing their energy and correcting it. If you would like to receive my help, then please contact me by clicking the button below.
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